Beloved
by kakashidiot
Summary: Yaoi. RitsukaSoubi. Ritsuka realizes the inevitability of time. But Soubi has hope for the future. RandR!
1. Kiss Me

_I do not own Loveless._

_Pairing: Soubi/Ritsuka. _

_WARNING: SEVERE FLUFF! YOU MIGHT GO INTO A DIABETIC COMA!_

_**READ AND REVIEW!**_

_**

* * *

**_

Beloved

_**Chapter 1**_

_**Kiss Me**_

_Song of Solomon 1:2 : Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth, for thy love is better than wine._

* * *

_**His kisses are soft. Like butterfly's wings. Like the soft rose petals against the skin. Like snowflakes. Like the fingers of the soft rain falling on my face. **_

_**Memories of his lips against mine erase everything - for there is only him and me.**_

* * *

"Soubi," his light voice suddenly jolts me into reality. "Is something the matter?"

And looking down at his squared shoulders, I can only chuckle.

"Nothing's the matter. I was only thinking of you," I smile down brightly at him - and my heart jumps at the blush that spots his cheeks.

"Idiot," he says, embarrassed. "You're scary, you know that?"

"I'm sorry, Ritsuka."

"No. Never mind... It's..." His face turns even redder. "Kinda... nice..."

"Hmmm... well... I was just thinking of your kisses."

"Ewww! Soubi! You're such a pervert!!!!"

"I'm sorry."

"No you're not! I bet when you go home, you think perverted thoughts alot - when I don't know!"

"Hmmm... Is it wrong for me to feel so happy about you?"

His adorable little face turns an even BRIGHTER RED (if that was possible).

"Ah... um... SOUBI! That's -" His fingers are fumbling now with a tassle on his shirt. "Well... that is -"

"RIIITSSSUUKKKAAA!!! SSSOUUUBBIII!!!"

It's Yuiko and Yayoi. Ritsuka's classmates. Both of them come running, jumping up and down at the thought of a leisurely summer picnic at the park.

I wonder yet again how a romantic tryst between Ritsuka and I degenerated into a party...

But sure enough - there's Kio coming down the street as well.

"Soubi... why so sulky?" he asks, arm sliding invitingly around my shoulders. "Does Sou-chaan need cheering up? I think alone time is order -" 

"I'm not sulking," I quietly rebuke my noisy friend with a sigh.

_Why is he so immature?_

"Ah! Kio! I'm glad you could come!" Ritsuka smiles at the art student. "It's a beautiful day to make more memories -"

"I found out that Soubi-san and Ritsuka were going to the park -"

"To a park? Alone?" Kio wails hysterically, interrupting the young girl's explanation. "Sou-chaan! Why didn't you invite me?"

"Because -"

My excuse is cut off abruptly by Yuiko's bright chatter.

"But you know, I like parks - and picnics - right, Ritsuka? And you know, Yayoi, have you eaten food cooked by Soubi-san? It's soooo goood!"

While the girl went into transports of delight, Yayoi and Ritsuka sweatdrop.

"Absolutely true!" Kio nodded. "Which is why I'm here today!"

I sigh and roll my eyes.

"Well, now that everyone's here, we might as well get going," I point out. "Ritsuka? Where would you like to go?"

And so we set off, Ritsuka as our leader.

-----

Watching the children running around and playing - Ritsuka getting his friends and himself in various poses - finding some nostalgic kind of joy in the swingset - Soubi felt strangely detached. Sitting there underneath the elm tree - with the remains of the food now neatly packed away, he should have found some sort of peace under the dappled shade - the cheerful sun and the gently puffy clouds. There was something picturesque about the whole thing - an image that resonated with the children's stories that he had read when he was very young.

His mother's voice was almost inaudible to him - over time, it faded away. But the pictures were still there...

They had stopped now... the three of them on the swings - Yuiko and Ritsuka reviewing the pictures they had taken of each other... no doubt choosing which ones would be trashed and which ones would be eventually printed off and distributed amongst them. The amount of money Ritsuka spent on photographs amazed Soubi continually. But it was cute - aesthetically a pleasing sight - the artist in Soubi had to admit. And his eyes, carefully finding the light and the shadow - the gentle hues of the summer day reflected in their casual clothes and bright faces...

Burning it in memory... and then... maybe finding a place for it on blank canvas... a reminder in a darker future of a happier past...

_Ritsuka... _

Soubi thought fondly.

_Perhaps we're not so different after all..._

"Kio..." he said.

"Hm?"

"Nothing..."

Soubi found the small notepad he had stowed away for possible Ritsuka-sketching (a dream which had died a quick death earlier on that day) and his pencils. Quickly finding a blank page, he sketched the scene out - Yuiko's face, pressed close to Ritsuka's as they chatted over the camera. He left Yayoi out - the boy had slowed now to small swings - obviously wanting to join the intimate couple but unwilling to destroy Yuiko's fun.

"Quite intimate, hm?" Kio said lazily, as he peered at Soubi's sketch.

Soubi stared down at the pad.

_Yuiko and Ritsuka - so close... _

His heart sped up.

_Ritsuka -_

"If you aren't careful," Kio prodded. "You'll be losing your little boy toy to a little girl!"

"Kio... there's nothing -"

"Don't tell me there's nothing..."

"I'm not a pervert, Kio."

"Mmmm... maybe not... but... your eyes say something else even more frightening..."

Soubi didn't answer - instead, he stowed away the notepad and the pencils, rose and left a rather dampened Kio behind.

"Oho, Sou-chan... it's the silent treatment, huh?" The art student muttered to himself, as he lamely followed his friends to the swing set.

"You've made some pictures, Ritsuka?" Soubi asked softly.

"Yeah," Ritsuka held out the camera for Soubi's inspection. "They're okay. I want a picture of us all though -"

"Of you and I?"

"I said us all - Yayoi, Yuiko and me!" Ritsuka huffed. "I've got tons of pictures of you! People would think I'm a stalker or something!"

"You're too cute to be a stalker," Kio laughed. "But if you've got nice pictures of Sou-chan, I'll take 'em."

Ritsuka looked suspiciously at Kio.

"You're a pervert too?"

"UWAH! So uncool, Sou-chan! Tell him to have mercy on me!"

"You tell him, Ritsuka," nodded Soubi.

"UWAH! Soubi! You're so cold!"

"I'll take the picture," Soubi said. "It will be the best one yet."

Five minutes later, the three middle schoolers were looking through Soubi's snapshots.

"I guess Agatsuma-san is no art student for nothing," Yayoi said in awe as they oohed and aahed over the camera angles and the beautiful blend of sunlight and color.

"Yes, Soubi-san is very awesome!" squealed Yuiko. "He does painting!"

"Painting?" Yayoi blinked. "Wow! That's hard stuff! You're lucky, Ritsuka, to have such a cool friend!"

Ritsuka blushed as he looked at Soubi leaning against the swing set frame.

"... Yeah..."

"You should take a picture of him on a swing with me," Kio suggested wickedly, winking at Ritsuka.

Ritsuka blinked.

"Errr... well..."

"Soubi! We're to take a picture of you and I on a swing together! Ritsuka has commanded!"

Soubi looked at Ritsuka questioningly.

"Well... I want a picture of Soubi... yes..."

"YAYYY!!! Soubi! You sit there and I'll sit here! And - presto! The hottest picture in Tokyo!"

Ritsuka, looking through the viewfinder at Soubi, who was trying to place as much space between him and Kio (impossible since they were sharing a swing), couldn't help but agree.

The picture would be hot - but only because Soubi was glaring (very mildly) at Kio - who was snuggling really closely to his classmate.

_Too close._

Ritsuka took the picture with a pang of regret.

-----

Later on, when the sun began to set in a sky of fiery red, Ritsuka found Soubi alone by the river staring thoughtfully at a bunch of flowers. And scribbling. He came up quietly and paused - as he watched a picture come to life on the blank page.

The flowers, the water with trees reflected in its mirror - and him, Ritsuka, sitting there, hand raised with a butterfly on it.

It was beautiful.

And fanciful.

_As if I'd sit around for a butterfly..._ Ritsuka rolled his eyes. _But... _Here, he paused._ But... it's beautiful... and so... I look so happy. _

And suddenly, Ritsuka could hear Kio talking. Earlier during the lunch.

**_"But you know, Sou-chan's specialty is butterflies -"_**

And Ritsuka suddenly knew that perhaps here, Sou-chan was most happiest - drawing a picture of Ritsuka - happy - with him.

_The butterfly must be you._

_It's a beautiful dream..._

Raising his camera, Ritsuka took the picture - and at the sound of the camera's click, Soubi's head whipped up - his usually composed face startled. And when he recognized Ritsuka, his ears turned red.

Ritsuka couldn't help but laugh.

"Ah! Sorry, Soubi! I just - wanted to know what you were doing so quietly over here..." The dark-haired boy bent down, ears twitching with excitement. "But you know... that's really beautiful!"

"Beautiful?"

"I think it's an awesome picture! Are you going to paint it?"

"Do you want it painted?"

"Maybe..." Ritsuka back-pedaled at Soubi's careful voice. "If you want to..."

A pause.

"The butterfly is you, right?" Ritsuka asked. "Whenever I see butterflies, I think of you."

"I hope you see them all the time then," Soubi smiled, looking up - and then realizing, with a start, how close they were right now.

Ritsuka tensed too. And they stared at one another for a long time. Then -

Ritsuka leaned forward and gave Soubi a quick peck on the check.

"You're mine," he said softly.

* * *

**_Soft. Like butterfly's wings. Like rose petals. Like snowflakes._**

**_And it fills me up -_**

**_I felt like I could fly. Like I could win the hardest spell battle._**

**_Brimming with love._**

* * *

PLEASE REVIEW and tell me what you think!!! 


	2. Rain's End

_**THANKS FOR REVIEWING!!!!! TO ALL READERS AND REVIEWERS - ARIGATO!!!! I APPRECIATE!!!!**_

ceres: thanks for the review! And fear not. I've got a specific aim in mind. It'll prolly be done in the amount of chapters there are in Song of Solomon (i'm taking 1 verse from each chapter...) So that makes... 8 chapters total. Hope that's cheery for you! I'm glad you're enjoying the fluff regardless!

hospitality on parade: I'm glad you're enjoying the fluffiness! Thanks for reviewing! It's good to know that new people are continually enjoying my works:P I love hearing from new people.

Jennifer-chan: hahaha! It's good hearing from you:P I'm glad you're enjoying the "artistry". I think Loveless needs more homage - don't you? Too bad I can't draw as well as I write... We need more Soubi stuff in this world... When I went to Anime North, there was alot of art for Ritsuka - but not alot for Soubi - but I did manage to snag SOME stuff... which was good... I want a Soubi plushie... :P Then I'd be happy at night! lol.

bledding black rose: Oah! You like this fluff? Wow. Thanks. I'm not super fond of fluff - but I thought... "Hey... what's Loveless without fluff?" lol.

Kita Ito: Wahhh! All these people like this short ficcie - and I have no real idea of what to write - I'm just burbling along... (normally I write with a plot in mind...) I'm glad it made you smile. This makes my day knowing that my fics can help people feel good inside:P lol.

Kokis: WAAAHHH!!! I've been missing you! wow! I didn't know you dug Loveless... . ;;; But who can resist Soubi? lol. I need to get my ass on GL - and I'm working on the chappie in question... but I couldn't resist writing this either... I'm a bad, bad ff-writer!

buchouslvr: Agreed. Ritsuka is very shy physically - but that's because he's quite young. Still at that 'ew... girls' stage. (although Soubi's not a girl...) lol. On the other hand, in my fics, he's grown up into teenhood so... he's now more open to physicality - as this chappie is all about it. But you know... in some ways, I think Soubi is just as screwed up... so it's nice writing something where Soubi is the hesitant one and Ritsuka makes the moves. I'm more into uke!Soubi, actually. Call me weird... but I like it that way...

AT ANY RATE... enough babbling - AND onto the GOOD STUFF!!!

* * *

**_I do not own Loveless! It belongs to Kouga-sama!_**

_**Pairing: Ritsuka/Soubi, Ritsu-sensei/Soubi**_

_**WARNING: SPOILERS for newest chapters from Japan!!!!!!! Spoilers for Ritsu-sensei etc. etc. etc.**_

_**WARNING: OHMIGOSH!!!!! I don't know what to say - except... where did the fluff go? Well... there's a bit of fluff. A bit of comedy. And a nice ton of ANGST!!!**_

_**WARNING: mentions of noncon stuff... allusion to general sadness and nastiness. :( Hope it's enjoyable none the less.**_

_**Warning: H/C!!! Yaoi. Shouta-con. slightly OC I think... you tell me! **_

_**Read and REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!**_

**Song of Solomon 2:10-11**

**

* * *

**

**Rain's End**

_My beloved spake, and said unto me, Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away. For, lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone_

_I can feel his hands on me, in me - touching me, breathing fire, unwanted burning in my loins. As his hands move over my pants, kneading me, unbuckling my belt and then sliding down under the waistband of my underwear... I gasp. This is what I want. This is what I always wanted._

_For him to need me. Even if it is only for this._

_I know it's wrong - no one is like me. _

_He said so himself._

_"You are special, Soubi."_

_And I believe every single word falling from his perfect lips. _

_Let them touch mine, I pray. _

_Let him be mine, forever._

-

"Forever is a long time, Soubi," Ritsuka jolts me from my wool-gathering.

"Hmmm?" I find a cigarette and light it after glancing at him for permission.

His tail twitches - but he says nothing.

Sign enough for me.

I've been taught well how to read them - the Sacrifices from before - to the Sacrifices in the future...

_After all_, I sigh to myself. _Ritsuka's real Fighter will come along... and what will I have? Nothing. Just as it was before with Sensei... just as it was with..._

"I said... forever is a long time."

"Yes..."

"I think that's kind of... scary, don't you? Heeyyy! Are you listening to me?" he frowns.

I jerk my eyes away from the rain running down the glass of his balcony's door.

"Yes, Ritsuka. I'm listening."

"No. I swear you are not."

"I'm sorry."

"Sure you are."

"Then punish me."

"Soubi. I'm not a pervert."

"Neither am I."

He leans close and carefully inspects me. My eyes lower to stare at his clenching hands - so small... compared to...

I crush out the cigarette irritably.

"It's the rain."

"Eh?"

He sits down, and then, after a moment, leans on me. Together we watch the wetness fall - his tail curling gently around my waist. It's comforting to sit there and listen to the soft hushing rain. It's only comforting with him.

I dread the silence at my apartment.

The silence that drives me back to my painting... And then... I fail to get any work done.

I sigh again.

"It's the rain," he repeats again softly. "You always zone out when it's raining like this. Is it a thing for bad memories?"

"Memories..."

"When it rains, it makes me depressed because I think that the sky is crying... And that's when I'm afraid of words like 'forever'." Ritsuka said rather philosophically.

I smile down at his cute head.

_Well... not really a cute head anymore. He's grown up now... a year old, he says - and a year wiser._

_We'll see..._

"But you know, Soubi... even the rain has to end sometimes. That's my favorite part - when the clouds roll back and the sun shines down, and everything is sparkly clean and there's a rainbow in the sky. Kinda cheesy I know - like those kiddie shows I watched when I was young. Still..." He paused. "It's nice to hope for it, right?"

And I wonder.

_What is it that I hope for?_

_To be here with you, Ritsuka. Forever._

-

_He said to me, "You'll be mine forever."_

_Ritsu-sensei's soft words comforted me when I was young. Now... I'm not so sure. It's kind of scary. _

_At the art exhibition, he was there escorted by some people from the Academy. And as I watched him walk in through the doors, I tensed, unsure of how to react. He looked the same as ever - the straight grey hair - severe and yet, beautiful. The pale skin, slim hands and elegant posture. And the black glasses covering empty eye sockets._

_"Creepy..." Ritsuka shivered next to me. "He seems creepy to me, more than ever."_

_"Creepy," I chuckle, hoping that my nervousness doesn't show. "He's blind, Ritsuka."_

_"What are you saying - that I won't be polite? Look - he's coming straight over here... how does he do that?"_

_And I wonder..._

_As he listens to Nagisa crossly describe my newest work, he smiles._

_"Ritsuka is here?" he asks condescendingly - as if I were the blind one and in need of guidance. _

_"Yes," I say sharply. "He's gone though - to check out some other artist's work. There are many here with great talent..."_

_"And you are among them. Feeling confident then?"_

_His hand has found mine inexlicably - and his finger, running up and down the palm of my hand, makes my arm, shoulder - then chest and legs tingle. It's not unpleasant - but...horrifying all the same._

_I jerk away feeling dirty all of the sudden._

_After all those years..._

_I realize..._

_"You'll be mine forever..."_

_"No..."_

_He walks away with a small smile, as if finding something agreeable._

_"Don't kid yourself, Soubi... Between us... there is something you cannot sever - because you cannot see it - know it - understand it... I'll see you around."_

_He's got the last word as usual... and I can say nothing._

-

_So here I am... watching the rain fall, feeling depressed despite the success of the exhibition and the resulting, well-paying jobs. Ritsuka, now in high school, is also doing well. He's growing - soon he'll be tall - like Seimei - perhaps, even taller than me. It's a comforting thought._

_Just him being there is good._

_So why?_

-

"Stay the night," Ritsuka whispers with a small grin. "Now that mother is gone... no one will notice..."

"Ritsuka..."

"Hands off rule, right, pervert?"

"Ritsuka..."

"Can't have you on the floor - but... the bed's kinda small so we'll have to, um, respect each other's space."

His face is red now. Ritsuka's been working hard on being cool. He tries everyday to show Soubi how much he's grown up. And underneath the scolding and reprimands, there is desire - burning - blossoming... The young teen wonders if Soubi knows.

So he watches Soubi's calm face carefully - noting the subtle hints of distress. The seventh half smoked cigarette, the twitch in the cheek... Ritsuka sighs.

_What is he hiding THIS time?_

-

That night Soubi dreams.

He turns on the bed and looks into the face of Ritsu-sensei, watching him.

"I'm sorry... I needed to get a drink..." He stutters, his voice fading into silence.

A large hand traces his nose, then touches his lips briefly. Smelling of vanilla and chocolate - although he knows Ritsu-sensei is never interested in soft things like gentle words or romantic offerings. It's his dreams.

_When he takes me_, he thinks, with a sleepy smile on his face. _We will be one. Forever_.

But when the day came, when Ritsu-sensei was giving him a lesson on pain, Soubi found himself bent over the large oak desk, watching helplessly as his fingers clenched with the pain. He bit his lip and squeezed his eye shut.

_I won't cry. I won't yell out. I can take this. This is for Sensei. This is for us._

But nothing happened.

"What are you doing?" Ritsu-sensei's smooth voice froze the young child, as he stood before the mirror stark naked.

"Nothing."

Soubi patted down his hair where his ears had once been.

They were gone now.

_Is Ritsu-sensei keeping them?_

"Disappointed?" the older man shifted his glasses. "A complaint, maybe?"

"It's my fault. I'm sorry," Soubi whispered, tears standing out unshed from eyes.

Ritsu-sensei sniffed.

"Don't be silly, boy." He turned away. "If it's a mark you want, don't look for it. I found my beloved a long time ago. You will always be mine but keep in mind - Don't get the idiotic notion I'll always be yours. Romantics," he snorted and left the room.

Tears trickled down Soubi's face.

_Don't get the idiotic notion... _

He walks out the bathroom door and suddenly he's taller. And older. Wearing all black. It's morning and the classroom smells comfortingly of paint, canvas, wood and ink. There's nobody there but the janitor, and Soubi likes it that way. He finds his favorite spot, far back in the classroom, and begins to set up. Laying down a blank canvas, setting his paints just so, doublechecking his favorite brushes and finding a comfortable position on his knees.

It's familiar and comforting at the same time. A perfect way to get rid of this black mood. Ritsuka had told him not to run away - the young boy, tied to his own dining room chair had encouraged Soubi. And he felt guilty that he was acting like a prima donna this way...

_It's only... It's just..._

_Why?_

When Kio came in and pestered him - as he had so long ago, Soubi felt annoyed. And a tiny bit relieved...

"Kio," he finally asked. "Ah... how do I say this... I - I was thinking. Why am I so easy to throw away?" Soubi bit down hard on the flavorful lollipop Kio had given to him. "Why won't anyone take me? When somebody decides to go, I will always be left behind. After all, I'm like garbage so I'm just going to be thrown away in the end, aren't I?"

That night, he lay in his bed and thought of the past and the future before him.

_Goura._

The place where it all began.

_And Ritsuka wants to go there... but..._

_What if -_

Soubi realizes that he is afraid of that nameless fighter who will take that dear boy away. His fists clench as tears fall again in the darkness.

And then he hears a faint voice, calling his name.

-

"Soubi! Soubi! Wake up!"

It's Ritsuka, bending over me. My eyes fly open, taking their time to adjust to the dark.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt? Did I hit you? Was it a bad dream?"

I shift up onto my elbows and a shaky sigh escapes my lips. His arms wrap around me now more easily, and my shaking hands find there way around his slim waist. Burying my face in his neck, I whisper -

"Just a bad dream... Sorry... Ritsuka..."

"You're crying..."

"I'm sorry... I'll leave now..."

"No," he drew back with a frown. "You're upset! Do you honestly think I'll let you go home like this?"

My lips quirk up in a small smile.

"No..."

"Right. We'll just..." He blushes, his tail twitching with embarassment. "Sit here and hold each other, okay? It's kinda... nice... don't you... think?"

"Yes, Ritsuka."

A long moment of comfortable silence followed. Soubi wondered if Ritsuka was falling asleep.

"Was it something from long ago?" the boy finally asked.

"Some of it," Soubi sighed.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No." Soubi hugged the boy tighter. "I like talking about you though."

"Pervert."

Soubi let it slide.

"It's the rain, isn't it?" asked the teenager.

Soubi tilted his head to look to his right - to the curtains - and beyond, the rain streaked window. It was early morning - but you couldn't have told because ominous dark clouds lowered over the entire city, blocking out the cheerful sunrises.

"I like sunrises," Soubi said. "I'll miss it this morning."

"We should go watch a sunrise together one day," Ritsuka suggested. "We'll take lots of pictures."

"Of me and you?"

"Of the sunrise, idiot." Ritsuka chuckled. "And, yes, I guess there'll be tons of you and me. As usual."

They sat there until it was past the point of decency - 9 o'clock. The rain slowly let up and Ritsuka knew that rain or no, he's got research at the library to do. Soubi decided to go with him - hoping he'll be more of a help than a hinderance this time around.

On their way back, the clouds rolled away completely -

And it was glorious - the golden late-afternoon rays of the sun as it sank behind the city buildings.

"The thing about rain - about sunsets that I like," Ritsuka linked arms with Soubi as they leaned against a bridge railing to stare at the sunset. "Is that you can see them filled with hope. The rain brings nutrition to the earth - a drink for thirsty flowers, say. And it helps clean the earth, don't you think? And the sunset is also cheery because you know the sun will be up the next day, the same as ever. 265 days of the year we see this renewal over and over."

"Haa..." Soubi tilted his head, eyeing his Sacrifice. "Ritsuka is so knowledgeable."

"Oi, Soubi," Ritsuka's tail twitched with irritation at Soubi's cluelessness. "I'm trying to say that we should make rain and the sunset good memories for you. So that you won't be afraid again."

"I'm not afraid."

A pointed silence.

"Much," amended the Fighter.

More silence.

Soubi's head drooped, his long hair hiding his troubled face.

"Maybe... a little... bit..." he whispered in concession.

"Soubi..." Ritsuka leaned close.

Soubi turned his head.

Ritsuka leaned in and gave his Fighter a small kiss on the lips. Soubi's lips felt soft like velvet to Ritsuka, a softness he wanted to press down into so much. But he drew back and blushed at the poleaxed expression on Soubi's face.

"Ritsuka..."

"Y-Y-You should b-be able to say goodbye to some m-m-m-memories," the boy stuttered shyly.

Soubi's smile was a reflection of the sun and Ritsuka couldn't help but smile back.

"I'll remember," Soubi promised.

And he did.


	3. Finding Each Other

_**I do not own Loveless! It belongs to the amazing person Yun Kouga!!!!**_

_**THANKS TO ALL MY READERS AND REVIEWERS!!!!!!! I'm SO HAPPY TO HEAR FROM YOU!!!**_

_

* * *

_

_kokis: Ha! Here be another chapter! I'm still trying to find time to start the next GL-chappie. O.o... And as for this chapter... as Jack Sparrow would ask - "Where has the fluff gone?" Hahaha..._

_unboundwings: I think the fluff is falling over the cliff. I am so glad you like the writing and the style and the little description there is. I tend to be very minimalist. sigh As an English Lit student, what I read sometimes affects how I write... Ondaatje destroyed me, Shakespeare messed me... gosh knows what's gonna happen next:P_

_storyofgreen: Thanks! I'm glad you like my Soubi depictions. Despite my friends being horrified... I'm a firm believer in the mental UKE position Soubi has. It's just that way. And that's how I write it. XD I hope you like this Soubi as well!_

_bledding black rose: Oh yes, I agree with you about how sad it is that the stuff is taking so long to come out. (But then, that's prolly cause she's doing the designs for the new Gundam!!!) And when Loveless does come out - it's so darn short... sigh As for the way the story is going - I hope that Soubi doesn't end up as a casuality. As for Ritsuka remembering TV shows - yes. It's when he was around that age... And as for Ritsu-sensei's blindness... From what the pictures look like in the manga - he looks (to me) like Seimei gouged his eyes out. . ;;; At any rate, I hope you like the happy-sadness in this chappie!_

_the mad empty shell: All Loveless stuff needs cuteness AND angst. Don't you agree! I'm glad it made you feel 'awwwwwww'!!!_

_selyn: Thanks! I find that angst is more interesting to write - fluff has always been hard for me to maintain. . ;;; But we'll see... at any rate, more angst up ahead..._

_otakucat: Thanks for the heads up! I hope this isn't as confusing - although, if you're like me and sometimes end up reading fanfiction LATE into the wee hours of the morning, some things can always get fuzzy! Hahahahaha!!!! But I'm glad you're enjoying it regardless!_

_immortal sailor cosmos: Yes. There is fluff. Will there always be fluff? I dunno. sweatdrops I can't seem to maintain it for long... Hahahaha! But I hope you enjoy what's coming up next!_

_pikapika-angelic-demon-17: Glad you liked it! Hope you enjoy this installment!_

_aoh: Thanks for reviewing. It's good to know people are enjoying this fic!_

_**

* * *

**_

_**WARNING: SPOILERS for newest chapters from Japan!!!!!!! Spoilers for Ritsu-sensei etc. etc. etc.**_

_**WARNING: OHMIGOSH!!!!! I don't know what to say - except... where did the fluff go? Well... there's a bit of fluff. A bit of comedy. And a nice ton of ANGST!!!**_

_**WARNING: mentions of noncon stuff... allusion to general sadness and nastiness. :( Hope it's enjoyable none the less.**_

_**Warning: H/C!!! Yaoi. Shouta-con. slightly OC I think... you tell me! **_

_**Read and REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!**_

**Solomon 3:2**

**

* * *

**

Beloved

Chapter 3

Finding Each Other

_I will rise now, and go about the city in the streets, and in the broad ways I will seek him whom my soul loveth: I sought him, but I found him not. _

_He had promised me_, I whispered to myself.

_He promised..._

I stopped and bent over, my sides heaving with each deep breath I took. As I attempted to calm my panting, my mind continued to race furiously.

_Where are you, Soubi... you promised you would be there. You always promised to be there for me. Forever. To come when I called... To make something new out of every day..._

_Soubi..._

Underneath my sneakers, the puddle began to ripple again with another rain shower.

_Soubi..._

_Don't get lost in a place I cannot find._

-

I can feel Ritsuka's voice tugging at my heart - but the hand under my chin forces me to be silent. And I will. I will be silent and endure this pain. On this day, surely, I deserve this hard lesson...

_Ritsuka..._

_Please understand -_

A votive candle rolls off the slick, wet, white stone. And I wonder whether the small manjuu buns I had brought are still unspoiled. But his mouth on mine stilled the mind - bringing focus to two joined lips. One demanding, the other repelling. One taking - the other...

_What AM I doing? _I wondered. _Do I not belong to Ritsuka... this - this..._

_Even though I deserve this - this is not what Ritsuka would want. I belong to Ritsuka... I am Loveless now... so..._

I shove the older man away, repulsed.

"You have forgotten your lesson, Soubi-kun," he taunted, his silken voice playing shivers down my spine.

I glare up at the sightless eyes.

"Forgotten..." I turn around stiffly and right the candle, relighting it under the small pagoda houses. It would burn there for only a short while - a brief offering to a fading memory. "There is nothing -"

"Nothing?"

"Nothing for you here. Nothing that belongs to you!" My trembling hands gathers the scattered sweets back into their bowl. The small plastic wrappings glint with raindrops.

"I see you -"

"You see NOTHING," I evade his groping hands easily. But there is no triumph in mocking his blindness, no victory in the independent gesture.

There is only bitterness for that which we lost.

-

Ritsuka found me easily enough after that. Slumped with melancholy before an empty canvas. Just as I was about to raise the brush, his ever polite knock broke the quiet of the room. I rose and opened the door - to find a soaking wet cat on my doorstep. If had been yesterday - if it had been tomorrow - perhaps I would have smiled...

But he stepped into the room during an awkward silence that had fallen between us.

"I was trying to get a hold of you..." he growled, shaking himself just like the feline that Soubi pictured. "On the cellphone."

"Sorry, Ritsuka..." Soubi turned away, in search of a towel for his Sacrifice. "I was... painting..."

Ritsuka sniffed at the smell of damp rain on Soubi's hair - and the towel held out to him. He looked rather pointedly down at the flat (and VERY empty) canvas.

"Are you unhappy?" Soubi ventured after another awkward moment of silence.

"Very," Ritsuka pouted, wondering if he faked a snit, Soubi would spill the secret of where he had been. "I looked EVERYWHERE for you!"

"I'm sorry," reiterated the Fighter again, this time, twice as contritely. "Are you tired? Hungry?"

"Where were you?"

Soubi hesitated. Then he rose and found his way to the fridge. Holding out a juice bottle, he watched Ritsuka's response. After his Sacrifice nodded with resignation, Soubi poured the cold drink for the boy - and then set the kettle on to boil.

_Something like tea will do just the trick_, he thought. _Ritsuka out that long..._

Soubi felt like a burden twice as badly.

_It'll be a miracle if he doesn't get a cold._

"Perhaps, you'll want a shower," Soubi offered. "And then some warm clothes? Then we can talk -"

He stopped at the warm hand - their fingers twining in silent intimacy. Ritsuka's hands were no longer small - they were now much longer and firmer. Just as warm though...

"Soubi..."

His eyes - just as warm and welcoming and comforting - begged him for some answer. Soubi could feel the bond tightening. He bit his lip.

"I'm not trying to pressure you," Ritsuka sighed, noticing by the tightness of Soubi's shoulders how upset the Fighter was. "I was worried. Seriously. You never get lost or run away..."

"I do... sometimes..." Soubi sighed. "I run away all the time, don't I? Even from this - this -"

This conversation.

"I'll take a shower and let you think on it," the younger man smiled. "But no running this time, 'kay? I don't want to have to deal with more hide and seek. But -" Here he grinned even wider. "Even if you do RUN, I will find you, Soubi... you do know that?"

"Of course," Soubi smiled tentatively in response, his tense posture relaxed. "That is Ritsuka's way... all the way..."

-

When Ritsuka emerged from the shower, Soubi was sitting before his canvas, his clean brush yet to touch the paint. It was painful to watch his uncertainty. And Ritsuka could feel his presence so palpably.

_Well, we ARE in the same room... but... for some reason... this day above all days, I feel him so close to my heart._

_His indecision, his hurt... something is bothering him. Again._

Ritsuka sighed.

_When I first met him, I thought... how grown up he is! how accomplished! But then, but now - I realize... even grownups like him have problems. Maybe even worse problems... and Soubi... is more hurt than me in some ways. He never had one person to stay with him - nobody to find him when he got lost..._

Ritsuka's eyes wandered off the Fighter's back and the limp ponytail. They traveled over the rumpled bed, the kettle now working up to a boil on the clean stove... Everything in the room was neat, clean... in its place. Sterile... Despite the few posters Ritsuka and Youji had put up, the room still looked unlived in and bare.

_Somethings need to be worked on all the time_, Ritsuka decided. _Even Soubi himself. Even me._

"Did something bad happen today at work?" Ritsuka probed gently.

Soubi shook his head - and dipped his paintbrush into some blue.

"Not at work maybe... but some other time?"

Soubi shook his head - and the brush slid effortlessly along the canvas in a sweeping line. Ritsuka tried not to crane his neck too obviously.

"Is today... a day that brings something to your memory?"

Soubi stilled then, the blue sank into the canvas.

"Yes."

"It must have been bad... something when you were a... a-a Fighter?"

"No," Soubi sighed, another brush brought white onto the canvas. "It's... the anniversary..."

"Anniversary?"

Soubi nodded.

"A... death?" whispered Ritsuka.

Soubi's hand clenched into his fist. Paint dripped onto the newspaper without thought.

"My mother -" The fighter reached for the red pot and within moments, purple was created. Within a couple of seconds, he could feel Ritsuka's warmth at his side. A tail curled around his waist shyly.

"I'm sorry," Ritsuka whispered. "I shouldn't have pressed you..."

Soubi shook his head.

"No. I understand your worry. But I will be fine. Tomorrow..."

Ritsuka stared thoughtfully down at the canvas. There was only a slight shadow - as faint and soft as the clouds outside the window. If clouds were purple and blue. A faint shadow - Ritsuka's mind in a way felt it - the strange tension which passed so irregularly over Soubi's life - as indescribable and vague...

_Annoying_, the young teen grumbled mentally. _Trying to open Soubi is harder than prying open a clam shell - and in it..._

"A pearl," he murmured to himself.

"Eh, Ritsuka? What did you ask?" Soubi's eyes slid sideways as another brush dipped into ebony.

"It's nothing."

"Just ask and I will get it," Soubi promised.

Ritsuka shook his head ruefully, remembering the first days (and months) when they slowly became more acquainted with each other.

_Soubi... promising things he could never give..._

With a sigh, the younger male found a comfy spot before the TV. Settling back against some pillows, he started his newest, most favorite game - and in the silence, immersed himself in an epic battle.

It was comforting this way. To be there - to just be there was enough to settle the Fighter. By the relaxed slant of the artist's shoulders, Ritsuka could tell Soubi was already feeling a bit better. The brushes swished softly under the much louder sounds of the game - the companionable silence allowing Ritsuka more awareness of his Fighter. When Soubi would sit back to look thoughtfully down... when the Fighter cricked his neck with a sigh...

After an hour, Ritsuka paused the game to get Soubi and himself another hot drink. After settling back down (and cricking his own neck), he watched soubi critically. The aloof artist had set his brushes aside to sip at the fragrant tea, eyes closed in bliss. The young man wondered what the painting looked like now - but Soubi seemed more relaxed...

_It would be a shame to destroy his peace by breathing down his neck._

So the Sacrifice watched his Fighter closely, noting the paint staining the long pale fingers. Noting the wisps of hair now falling out of the straggling ponytail. The glasses, which perched precariously on the end of Soubi's nose -

"Are you angry with me, Ritsuka?" Soubi's soft voice was layered witha n air of anxiety. He was feeling troubled now, Ritsuka was sure.

_Soubi always gets these guilt attacks..._

"Not anymore," Ritsuka replied honestly."

"I'm sorry -"

"Soubi. We talked about this. I won't have you apologizing for something you don't feel sorry about."

"But I do -"

"No, you don't!" growled Ritsuka, his ears and tail twitching furiously. "Else you'd have tried to compromise. But no - you keep running away!"

"I'm right here," Soubi pointed out obtusely.

"You KNOW what I mean," Ritsuka huffed.

Soubi's lips quirked up in a half smile.

"You are so cute, Ritsuka. How can anyone resist?"

"Are you changing the subject?" Ritsuka asked suspiciously.

"Not at all," replied Soubi smoothly. "Did you level up yet - that game is kinda hard..."

"You are running away again."

There was a small silence.

Ritsuka, rose, walked over and, leaning over Soubi's shoulder, whispered in his Fighter's ear.

"Who is she?" He paused with an inkling of realization. "Your mother?"

His dark gaze never left the canvas. Soubi nodded slowly, all amusement gone.

"Perhaps..." He paused and added some more blue to a butterfly balanced on the finger tip. "She died. When I was young. With my father - in a car accident."

"How horrible."

Soubi cocked his head thoughtfully.

"I guess so."

"You guess? Soubi - denial is -"

"It's not denial. I was... very... young when it all happened..."

"Oh."

"Yes. there are few memories - and then..."

Ritsuka squeezed the Fighter's shoulder sympathetically - as if it would dislodge the reluctant confession.

"Ritsu-sensei."

Ritsuka froze.

"You... what? That's - that's... horr-"

"What is past is past," Soubi cut off the young boy's expression of horror. "There is nothing that can be undone."

Ritsuka's warm arms crept around the Fighter's neck as he gave the hunched man a hug from behind. They sat there in silence as the shadows grew long - Ritsuka, kneeling, pressing all his love into Soubi... as much as he could -

And Soubi sat there - still - head bent - his favorite black brush lax in his fingers -

Staring up from the canvas, was a young woman with light brown hair, glasses and violet eyes. It looked like Soubi, younger and happier. Full of love...

**WHAM!!!**

The door banged open - Kio dropped the grocery bag from his arms in shock. A beer can rolled out slowly - stopping at Ritsuka's sock.

"UUUUWAAAAGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" wailed Kio in consternation. "You DID IT!!! OF ALL THE DAYS - YOU DID IT TODAY!!!! SOUUUUBBBIIIII!!!! You ARE a PERVERT!!!"

"Kio. I am NOT a pervert," stressed Soubi, sliding out of Ritsuka's arms.

"Why does it always come down to this?" blinked Ritsuka. Then he grinned. "Ohayo, Kio! I hope your day has been well!"

"My day was perfect. I finished a project, and decided to go cheer up my friend as usual for this date... but... NO! MY DAY HAS BEEN RUINED!!! SOUUU-BBBIIII!!! You TRAITOR! You SAID you were free for me today! I had so many things planned!!!"

Soubi picked up a jar of honey and wax.

"Kio. I don't need cheering up."

"Liar," Kio and Ritsuka replied in unison.

Then they all laughed - Soubi rolled his vivid eyes.

"Oh... You've been doing something?" Kio strolled over, letting Ritsuka pick up the broken paper bag of beer, honey, ramen and candles. "A new painting? For an exhibition?"

"I was painting all afternoon," Soubi stressed softly. "Ritsuka was playing one of the games..."

"How domestic," Kio said slyly. "Before you know it, you're gonna be in a couch smoking a pipe, reading the papers, while Ritsuka knits."

"Ritsuka knitting?"

"Why would I be knitting?" asked the teen. "I don't -"

"My grandmother used to knit - so did my mother..." Kio raised his eyebrow. "Isn't that normal?"

Ritsuka thought of his dark-haired, oppressive mother - the woman who had tormented him with her obsession over the years. But underneath was only hurt and an unreasonable love and care... In the end, she had wanted to save him...

_Perhaps, Seimei could never share his love. Like her, his very being - his very passion - twisted him. But she healed... He... did not..._

Soubi remembered his laughing mother - his tall father. He couldn't visualize her hands knitting. She was a Fighter. The best there was. Ritsu-sensei had said so. Ritsu-sensei could only praise one person with sincerity...

_So it must be true._

"I don't know," Ritsuka admitted.

"Whatever," shrugged the blonde extrovert. "Let's see what we have this time? Disturbing butterflies? Flowers fading in the dark? Or not..." His eyes widened as he stared down thoughtfully.

"I don't think it's finished yet," Soubi sighed. "Something at the corners... But it will have to be another day. The light is gone now..."

-

The day ended rather anti-climactically - Soubi refusing to revisit his mother's grave with his two friends. Kio, leaving with reluctance - Ritsuka left even later that evening. In the large apartment, the silence seemed even bigger. The idea of leaving Soubi alone was...

_It's a bad idea_, Ritsuka sighed, as he made his way down the stairs.

Soubi waved his hand, a serene face hiding a thousand secrets.

And Ritsuka had to wonder if things had changed at all.

-

A year later to the date, just when spring decided to show its cheery face, when the buds began to from hard nubs on the bare tree branches - when the birds began to sing -

As soon as the last bell rang, Ritsuka rushed out of class to Soubi's apartment. The Fighter wasn't there.

Nor was he at the riverbank.

Not at the park where they first met...

Ritsuka searched up and down, his heart beginning to hammer with panic.

_I can't find him... he's not picking up his cell..._

_Soubi... Where are you?_

_I told you - You don't have to run away. You can come to me._

_Don't get lost in a place I cannot find._

The nineteen year old gave up after three and a half hours of solid searching. He returned home at dusk - still trying to contact his friend via cellphone.

Soubi! Pick up! Pick up! Pick up!

"Ritsuka?"

It was Soubi.

On the phone -

Ritsuka opened his bedroom door -

"Soubi," he cried as his dark eyes met violet ones in the twilight of his bedroom. "I thought you had -"

"Run away?" Soubi finished with a wry grin.

He looked sleepy - Ritsuka noted the rumpled blankets on his bed.

"I was looking for you," Ritsuka drew Soubi into a tight hug of relief.

He buried his face in the Fighter's neck, his cell phone falling from his hands with a thunk into the soft carpet. They stood there for a while, just enjoying each other's warmth and presence. Ritsuka laughed.

"But you were here all along."

"I'm always here for Ritsuka," Soubi smiled. "Always."

The truth was sealed in a long kiss, which tasted something like sweet manjuu.

-

**Read and review!**

**Very cheap payment for free entertainment! (how's that for a fancy shmancy jingle?)**


	4. Awake And Come

Warning: Yaoi. Shouta-con. Fluff!  
Pairing: Ritsuka/Soubi.  
Summary: Ritsuka and Soubi, Flowers and a Garden. Paradise on earth and a knowledge that some good things never change.

THANKS TO ALL WHO REVIEWED!

**It was such an encouragement to hear people liking this angsty fluff. But, however, I must warn readers, that these aren't meant to have plot. Nor are they necessarily consecutive. As one can guess, this is merely a collection of short stories bound by one commonality: Song of Solomons. Without understanding the importance of this book, this fic may not necessarily have the same meaning. At any rate, there's no explaining why Ritsuka is older. Or any such thing. These are merely images in my head, put on paper. **

**As such, I hope you enjoy it!**

**

* * *

**

Awake and Come 

_Awake, O north wind; and come, thou south; blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out. Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits._

Song of Solmon 4:16

Soubi opened his eyes slowly, blinked and raised himself on his elbows. Any disorientation disappeared as he recognized the familiar dark violet quilt sliding off his torso. He flopped himself back on the fluffy pillow and clasped his hands behind his head, deep in thought. It was then that he realized he was alone.

Perhaps it was the quality of the room...

The empty kind of silence which permeated the air. Raising himself up again on his hands, Soubi looked around. Scratched his head and blinked sleepily.

"Ritsuka?"

There was no answer.

_Ritsuka?_

It was reassuring to the Fighter to find the connection easily. The younger man was nearby. After a few moments, Soubi shuffled out of the bedroom, hitching his pajama pants up higher on his skinny hips - clutching a steaming cup of tea which he had stolen from a still-warm pot in the kitchen...

He didn't have to go far to find his new live-in partner. After all, the apartment was quite small... Soubi's lips quirked up with a small smile when he saw Ritsuka's familiar back through the thin curtains which covered the balcony doors. Pulling the light muslin aside, he stepped out and enjoyed the familiar sight of black hair... the ears and tail twitching at the sound of his footsteps, he was sure...

And beyond Ritsuka, sunlight filtering through the early morning mists - piercing through the smog and the large apartment buildings which stood between the two young men and the horizon.

Ritsuka - his ever beloved Sacrifice - was enjoying the little sun and the feel of warm plants under his fingers. Warm, soft - yet sleek with the morning dew. His soft chatter faltered when Soubi came up behind him.

"Don't stop," Soubi whispered.

Ritsuka blushed.

"You laugh."  
"I do not!"

"All the time..."

"I -"

"I KNOW..." Ritsuka smirked. "I know everything... how you smile and laugh inside... when you don't want me to know... but you can't lie to me, Soubi. You used to be able to... not any more..."

Soubi sighed.

"I'd never lie to Ritsuka!"

His Sacrifice gave him a LOOK.

"... much..."

Ritsuka turned away, rested his chin on his skinny forearm and poked at the plant's leaves absentmindedly. Then, pushing away from the balcony railing, he dug out a familiar looking water pot. Soubi, lighting his first morning cigarette, watched the younger Sacrifice disappear - only to reappear soon with a much heavier watering can. And a spray bottle.

It amused him to watch Ritsuka fiddle with the flowers. It made his fingers itch for a paintbrush, but he normally contented himself with a quick pencil sketch. He had as yet to actually paint this scene - Ritsuka's deft watering, the little squirts of moisture that he gave the more delicate plants.

The plants in question had turned their tiny apartment into a small Garden of Eden, Soubi was sure. Nobody else had such flowers hanging off their balconies. Ritsuka's small flower buckets were veritable gardens of delight. And it made Soubi's heart lighter to see the happiness in Ritsuka.

_I don't understand it..._ Soubi mused, reaching for another cigarette, as he exhaled the last puff of smoke from his old one. He flicked the butt end off the balcony. Ritsuka didn't want his garden littered with cigarettes.

"Second one," muttered Ritsuka with the barest of side-glances.

"Hai, hai," nodded Soubi serenely, lighting his (yes, his SECOND) newest cigarette.

There were flowers... and for the artist, there were the cancer sticks.

_Cancer sticks._

Soubi's lips quirked upward in another amused smile.

_Such care. As if..._

Watching Ritsuka stand back with pride, Soubi couldn't help but realize that the same look had passed many times over his Sacrifice's face before. It had been there the time Soubi had stepped in for the first and last time - and Ritsuka's parents realized that somebody stronger had replaced Seimei in Ritsuka's life. The time that Soubi had whispered "I love you" one rosy sunset...

When he had brought the first plant home...

Ritsuka had smiled - and his eyes had been full to the top with something -

Soubi wondered.

So here he was, watching the smaller back stretch lazily. The boy yawned.

"You're laughing again," Ritsuka said softly, poking his senior in the side.

"Ahh... " Soubi raised his hands innocently. "No laughing here."

"Hmmmm..." Ritsuka leaned in to glare at Soubi's passive face.

There was a silence.

The edge of Soubi's mouth twitched.

"THERE!"

"That was my cigarette," dead-panned Soubi.

Ritsuka gave the artist a quick peck on the cheek.

"Sure." He stepped back and plopped his skinny butt onto the sagging couch which took up a large portion of their balcony. "Don't you have something to do?"

"Yeah... in an hour or so..."

Soubi found a spot near Ritsuka, and the younger one moved closer, leaning his head on Soubi's shoulder.

"Hey... Soubi..."

"Hm?"

"Think they can hear us?"

"Hear us? Who?"

"The plants. When we talk to them? When we talk..."

Soubi extinguished his finished cigarettes and put it carefully into Ritsuka's newest ashtray.

"I don't know," Soubi said finally. Honestly. Deciding that perhaps the quiet moment was better left undisturbed by joking. "What do you think?"

Ritsuka's hand traced down Soubi's arm and found the artist's fingers. The two hands laced together firmly on Soubi's thigh, Ritsuka stared at their joined fingers.

"I think they can... sometimes... I think that Soubi does well with flowers for a reason... it's as if..." The younger man looked up into Soubi's violet eyes.

Soubi felt his face redden under the intense stare.

"Me and flowers?"

"Hm. Yes. And butterflies..."

Ritsuka remembered the many times that he had found Soubi hunched over a beautiful butterfly and flower painting. The ones that had made him famous. Had jumpstarted the unknown artist into the beautiful world of artists.

Beyond the expectations of everyone - even Ritsu-sensei and Seimei could not have foreseen the power of Soubi's art. Ritsuka's brow wrinkled at the memories...

_They only saw him as a tool... something to be used and thrown away like trash... like wilted flowers which sink to the earth and are forgotten..._

_But... _

_Even then..._

_Something, a seedling perhaps... something grew out of it..._

"Ritsuka?"

"Uh... Soubi!" The young one blushed. "Sorry. I didn't mean..." His fingers squeezed Soubi's. "I meant..."

"I'm getting into a rut?"

"No!" laughed Ritsuka. Then he growled. "Are you fishing for compliments?"

Soubi chuckled. "No."

"Good. I don't want your ego to get too big for this place."

"For what place?" Soubi blinked.

Ritsuka turned red and mumbled something.

_This place. This apartment... this garden... my heart..._

_Stay here with me forever, Soubi._

-

The night Ritsuka lost his ears, he never forgot. It stays fresh in his memory, even to this day. Perhaps it is because Soubi still stands by his side - perhaps it is because of the painting they hung above their bed.

Soubi never showed it to the public. Ritsuka often wondered but he never said anything. In between his own publishing job as an editor, he was used to sitting for Soubi's portraits. Seeing a simulacrum of himself in a gallery wasn't so odd anymore. But this one, Soubi had said was special.

It didn't make sense to Ritsuka for a long time. Perhaps because it was such a quiet picture.

_My best_, Soubi had said, easing back his neck with a sigh of relief when it was done.

_He had worked on it for three days straight. After THAT night. _

Ritsuka blushed at the memory. He looked up again above him, then sat up and turned around to stare at it. It was him, alright. No doubt about it. Standing in a garden of flowers, pulling a flower in for a kiss. He had researched the flowers... roses, columbines, forget-me-nots... flowers that Ritsuka was quite sure he hadn't yet acquired for his garden...

Then he remembered.

The smile on Soubi's face - when he thought Ritsuka couldn't see. Perhaps the artist understood as much as Ritsuka had. It was a complex metaphor.

Soubi was the flower, brought to life by the garden. By the gardener. A small violet flower forgotten and treasured by the kindest of hearts. Ritsuka was the gardener, no, even more, he was the garden. And that night, the night when Soubi's hands had painted a different picture for Ritsuka - on the canvas of skin, painting a picture of pleasure - both had found their home forever inside each other.

Ritsuka had found paradise in so many places. A great job, Yuiko, his newly reconciled parents, Yayoi, old friends and new friends. But for Soubi, as it had been since the beginning, Ritsuka was his Eden forever.

_Forever._

* * *

_**Read and Review!!!**_


	5. Friends Forever

**I do not own Loveless, Soubi or Ritsuka. They belong to one lucky lady: Yun Kouga.**

**Warning... Fluff?  
**

* * *

**Beloved**

**Chapter 5 - Friends Forever**

_"His mouth is most sweet: yea, he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, and this is my friend."_

_- Song of Solomon 5:16_

"I wonder what it would have been like to have a spell battle against a pair called Timeless," Ritsuka wondered aloud one day to his partner while snuggling on their picnic blanket one bright summers day.

"Timeless?" Soubi mused. "Why would you want something like that?"

"I don't know..." Ritsuka floundered. "I guess... I wanted to see what you would do with that kind of promise."

"Ritsuka," the artist gazed at his boyfriend fondly. "You aren't making sense."

"That is because you aren't listening!" The young man retorted, sitting up with a cute huff.

Even though his ears and tail were gone, Soubi could still visualize the annoying twitches they would have been making about now. His lips quirked up in an amused smile as Ritsuka pouted.

"Timelessness..." Soubi said after a moment, drawing his friend into his arms.

They sat there for a while on the checkered blanket, the picnic basket beside them still opened under the bright sun and the dappled shadows of the tree.

"You see it as a promise of some kind of future?"

"Don't you ever want things to stay the same? Forever?" asked Ritsuka softly, his fingers clutching the soft material of Soubi's pullover. "Just here in this moment?"

"If it's a good moment."

"If?"

"What if it were a nightmare? Like that dream you had - of Seimei returning and destroying all we had?"

Ritsuka sighed. Then:

"I guess you're right."

"Hm... but it's cute that Ritsuka wants us to be together forever."

"It is an idiotic thought. I'm suprised you hadn't thought it up before," laughed Ritsuka, nudging Soubi gently in the ribs.

The artist smiled.

"Who's to say that I've not dreamt it before? Or wished it?"

"Hm..." Ritsuka looked suspiciously at the artist. "Is that what you wished at the sunrise on New Years? 'Cause that's too sappy..."

"You're the one who started the conversation," replied Soubi smugly. "I think your little heart is full of cute emotions - and -"

Soubi ducked as Ritsuka turned to idly swat him. That afternoon began with a hearty meal - but ended with a lot of snuggling and tussling for the two. Ritsuka, ever the pragmatist, forgot the discussion. But the artist's mind's eye captured that moment there on the blanket and filed it away for further thought...

-

Several months later, for their third anniversary together, Soubi put up another picture in the small apartment. After returning from the store with more nails and some wiring, the artist propped the covered painting against the sofa in preparation for the operation. Ritsuka popped his head out of the small kitchen, where he was struggling with some sticky pasta, and sighed.

"Not another one, Soubi!"

He left the pasta unwatched on the strainer running under hot water and folded his arms with mock fury as his older partner smiled serenely.

"It's not so bad. Just a small one."

"Five feet isn't small, last time I checked," Ritsuka shook his head. "And what if it clashes with the furniture?"

"You don't think it's a good idea?" Soubi cocked his head.

Ritsuka fumed. Soubi's violet eyes dimmed. Ritsuka hesitated. Soubi's eyes begged. Ritsuka gave in with a heavy sigh.

"Fine. I guess it's the present you were babbling about last week."

"One of many," Soubi reminded. "I'm sure you're tired of having..." He was now busy, hammering in the nails. "... all my paintings... around..."

"Now, that's not true -"

"Hmmmm.... I'm sure..." Soubi agreed absentmindedly as he rigged up the back of the painting.

"Can I at least see the thing?"

"Soon, soon, Ritsuka..."

"What if it doesn't match?"

"If it doesn't suit Ritsuka's taste, then, it will be removed," Soubi replied simply.

The younger man sighed.

_Damn. And I was just teaching him about getting some back bone and the first thing I do when he shows some sign of independent action is to question his judgment._

"Well... If it matters alot to Soubi, then..."

"We'll see..."

After a few moments of fiddling, the artist drew away the cloth to reveal his creation. Yet another pastel piece - but with so little flowers and butterflies, that Ritsuka was rather taken aback. But then he realized that Soubi's third favorite thing to paint was the main subject for the artwork.

It was himself on a picnic blanket. The lighting was indeterminate - neither dark nor light - so it was rather hard to tell the time. He was dressed in his favorite outdoor clothes - which he knew Soubi was rather familiar with - and even more interesting was the fact that he seemed to be looking beyond the viewer.

"It's like the other ones..." Ritsuka noted, feeling a little let down.

Soubi hummed non-concomitantly.

'Is that a watch?" Ritsuka asked, his sharp eyes already noting the details of the piece. "Why am I older?"

"One day, you'll understand..." Soubi replied softly.

Ritsuka wondered if the Fighter was being obtuse on purpose.

-

For a few months, the painting hung there - rather forlorn - and as time went on, Ritsuka began to think it had gained an air of injury. The young editor had, up until then, been able to unlock the secrets of Soubi's heart - so, his art. Every now and then, the Sacrifice knew that there were still things and secrets to be had. That Soubi would always be a little bit of an enigma.

One night, Soubi, after standing too long outside in the cold, while completing a comissioned piece caught something worse than a cold. Watching his beloved, weak and frail-looking in a hospital bed, Ritsuka bit his lip, trying to hold back tears.

"Stop it," Soubi whispered.

"What?" Ritsuka asked softly.

"Stop blaming yourself," Soubi replied, his now dark cornflower blue eyes seemed as sharp as steel.

Seeing everything - and nothing... Ritsuka sighed.

"I'm not... much..." protested the younger man. "I just..."

"You are worrying about the inevitable," Soubi replied softly. "Like a man trying to hold up the sun from setting."

"That's..."

"It's foolish, of course," Soubi sighed. "You must remember that all sickness is inevitable - as is death. So go home and rest. Is not tomorrow a large deadline? You should be thinking about the magazine."

"Soubi!" Ritsuka erupted. "You're an idiot. After all this time - and you think I'd abandon you to a hospital?"

The Fighter's eyes widened a little. Then he smiled.

"No," he replied calmly. "I was hoping for sense."

"I'll go home to get some stuff and bed down here for the night."

"It's just a cough -"

"It's pneumonia!"

Watching the slight shoulders of his Sacrifice straighten before disappearing into the hallway, Soubi smiled.

_One who fights to the end... yes..._

-

Four days later, Soubi was installed in their bed at home. Ritsuka waited on him hand and foot, cheerfully. It was the best kind of sickroom really - lots of cuddling and comfort. But underneath Ritsuka's cheer, Soubi could sense a fine tension.

That night, against doctor's orders, Soubi made it to the couch and sat with Ritsuka while gazing at the TV. A cute show was on. Overhead was the painting.

"I'm alone," Ritsuka said abruptly.

Soubi turned the volume down before turning to his partner.

"Why do you feel like that?" he asked in concern.

"No. I mean the painting," Ritsuka huffed a little. Then, he sighed. "In your pictures, you are always there... a flower, butterfly..." The young man hesitated. "But this time... I'm alone... You aren't there..."

Soubi raised an eyebrow, then smiled.

"It is a more thoughtful piece than my usual..."

"Hm... perhaps... and it's very complex. I mean, you drew me as older - but there are pale white lines overlapping it giving it a ghostly air - but the lines are a memory of a younger me...." Ritsuka's voice gained confidence. "So I'm older, you're gone... and.... there is no time."

"A good reading of an incomplete piece," Soubi smiled softly. "But then, Ritsukahas the power to see into my heart. It is always ready for his wishes."

"Silly," Ritsuka snorted. "As if. There are... some things even you and your words cannot change. You know it. You drew it."

"Yes..."

"But I knew that already!" Ritsuka glared indignantly at his lover. "Everyone knows." Here, he subsided. "That death is... inevitable..."

"Hmm... but one of the things I've learned over the years is that knowing isn't..." Soubi trailed off in thought.

"Knowing... to experience it... when you were sick..." Ritsuka admitted slowly. "I couldn't leave you... I felt that if I turned my back or closed my eyes, you would disappear. I couldn't bear the thought of it..."

"It meakes me feel a little happy to be missed..."

"You're mean!" Ritsuka pouted.

"Ah! I'm sorry!"

"Just kidding."

"So was I," Soubi added quickly.

"No, you weren't," Ritsuka shook his head.

"I was!"

"Uh-huh."

"No, really!"

"You keep saying that."

Another month passed by without event. Soubi couldn't leave the apartment without being wrapped until he looked more like a ball than a human. Ritsuka bought a whole new rack of stylish warm wear for the damp winter months. While Soubi painted spring, Ritsuka and his magazine celebrated Christmas festive seasons - and the New Year's mania.

As the two watched the sun rise on the New Year (together on their balcony), Soubi and Ritsuka made silent promises to be together forever.

Mid-January, Soub finished a sketch. He set it aside for thought. And so it was never painted. Ritsuka asked him why - but Soubi merely smiled and replied softly:

"I know our future will be what we want it to be - and it will be together. Death is a door... I think..." Soubi looked pensive. "A new journey. And we'll face it together."

-

**Read and Review!!!**


End file.
